0021

[SEPPUKU]

waking up in a dream again good morning hello im glad im not a part of reality anymore its all still there just the same as i left it for a bit of an immoral fun i thought it could be the hardest decision ever a way out or not the way at all but whats the difference anyway id choose the one that sounds better when spoken out loud in a dark club on a friday night the one thats gonna get me back to work theres a lot of wasted time a lot of waiting rooms one after another only prolonging the bad thing not making it any better the wasted energy the wasted thoughts ideas and plans days nights hours holidays not really wasted but failed watering the flower thatll never grow feeding a dead animal a shallow silly work stupid idiotic expectations and at the end its all me its none of you well not really but if its gonna make it easier for you i accept the blame im incapable of any better anyway you dont understand and you never will so why bother smart but deaf and a snail a spineless creature a slobber theres so much more under the surface but its gonna stay there locked safe hidden away a key a password i fell a sleep for a few seconds looked away one short blink the priceless one snakes and rats vultures and worms a sudden inner peace an emptiness a great change of the main motive a redirected attention back to sleep back to dream back inside back to cage back to normal back to old values cause youre just not worth it.

0020

RATS.

waking up the demons letting them chew with their tiny sharp rotten teeth dance all over screaming squeaking growling stabbing giggling burning tickling hissing grunting slobbering laughing out loud killing having fun.

0019

THE SECRET HANDSHAKE

its weird how the forms deformed how the shapes changed turned into a fear only the irrational one a fear of nightmares prolonging the day making it endless the insomnia wont last forever though ill stay up a bit longer ill wait for a rainy morning the quiet &cold one then im gonna start dreaming something else turn everything off and stay gone for a long while until i grow wings or horns or claws or old youll need a really good reason and a lot of courage to try and wake me up lowering expectations for quite a while the lowest low a mud a gutter well i need some fresh air now one deep breath of it i can see an effort its like a breeze on a hot summer day but it comes with a dark cloud above blow harder just a bit harder blow it away before it turns it into a storm ill get on a plane ill go there see myself fail for the first time well i dont care anymore its the end anyway one more and im gonna erase it all hide it under the carpet and hope its gonna disintegrate turn into a memory of all the hopeful mornings and long summers wasted years and great disappointments humiliated for nothing at all it was all about that anyway the others stayed far below the greater hope the higher pile of shit ill turn it all in two dimensions change the colors put a title sell it good buy a chocolate donut and let them tell me again im walking around with my head on a pillow i dont get quiet when ive got nothing to say but when i dont want to say it never underestimate the scared one the fears capable of anything.

0018

HAVE ONE, HAVE TWENTY MORE "ONE MORES"

even the spiders gone hes hiding his 8 legs somewhere behind my keyhole or it was just a substitute for a common bogeyman or is it still there is it somewhere around next to my legs behind my back on my shoulder in my hair take it off takeitoff!!

0017

STICK WITH YR KIND

the road is clear theres no one ahead but its only a morning its pretty obvious fragile outside solidified harsh inside a turtle and a humanoid well thats the right way then its me who took it all wrong no cracked shells and broken bones it takes the least effort to make it great a single tiny step aside the acids the old explanations there are some changes i wanna get there ive already met the evil prompter but i want to see whats behind the scenes a highway car crash its better to spend than to waste i know it all i know exactly what i have to do im still lucid enough but unabled help me out involve some more show your rotten teeth hypocrite im gonna get real fast and im gonna finish it all and get away from here i used not to hate but now i do i have those wicked pictures inside my brain the sick ones the destructive ones im gonna make an art out of it im gonna use it as a ladder to get there once when i get there im gonna wave and smile until you explode back to those little pieces of shit youre made of and then im gonna smile some more.