20070302

0022

KLOT-FRKET


question yourself a pitchfork a patchwork a hodgepodge knit knot shhh keep the secret bury it do not tell anyone a soldiers discipline each on every shoulder blattering at the same time making nooooiiissseeee gigantic soft like a pillow faster than ever before the ego thing and a hedgehogs belly copy paste cut trim split crop clear erase delete escape save yes to all.


20070226

0021

[SEPPUKU]


waking up in a dream again good morning hello im glad im not a part of reality anymore its all still there just the same as i left it for a bit of an immoral fun i thought it could be the hardest decision ever a way out or not the way at all but whats the difference anyway id choose the one that sounds better when spoken out loud in a dark club on a friday night the one thats gonna get me back to work theres a lot of wasted time a lot of waiting rooms one after another only prolonging the bad thing not making it any better the wasted energy the wasted thoughts ideas and plans days nights hours holidays not really wasted but failed watering the flower thatll never grow feeding a dead animal a shallow silly work stupid idiotic expectations and at the end its all me its none of you well not really but if its gonna make it easier for you i accept the blame im incapable of any better anyway you dont understand and you never will so why bother smart but deaf and a snail a spineless creature a slobber theres so much more under the surface but its gonna stay there locked safe hidden away a key a password i fell a sleep for a few seconds looked away one short blink the priceless one snakes and rats vultures and worms a sudden inner peace an emptiness a great change of the main motive a redirected attention back to sleep back to dream back inside back to cage back to normal back to old values cause youre just not worth it.


20070222

0020

RATS.


waking up the demons letting them chew with their tiny sharp rotten teeth dance all over screaming squeaking growling stabbing giggling burning tickling hissing grunting slobbering laughing out loud killing having fun.


20070221

0019

THE SECRET HANDSHAKE


its weird how the forms deformed how the shapes changed turned into a fear only the irrational one a fear of nightmares prolonging the day making it endless the insomnia wont last forever though ill stay up a bit longer ill wait for a rainy morning the quiet &cold one then im gonna start dreaming something else turn everything off and stay gone for a long while until i grow wings or horns or claws or old youll need a really good reason and a lot of courage to try and wake me up lowering expectations for quite a while the lowest low a mud a gutter well i need some fresh air now one deep breath of it i can see an effort its like a breeze on a hot summer day but it comes with a dark cloud above blow harder just a bit harder blow it away before it turns it into a storm ill get on a plane ill go there see myself fail for the first time well i dont care anymore its the end anyway one more and im gonna erase it all hide it under the carpet and hope its gonna disintegrate turn into a memory of all the hopeful mornings and long summers wasted years and great disappointments humiliated for nothing at all it was all about that anyway the others stayed far below the greater hope the higher pile of shit ill turn it all in two dimensions change the colors put a title sell it good buy a chocolate donut and let them tell me again im walking around with my head on a pillow i dont get quiet when ive got nothing to say but when i dont want to say it never underestimate the scared one the fears capable of anything.


20070217

0018

HAVE ONE, HAVE TWENTY MORE "ONE MORES"


even the spiders gone hes hiding his 8 legs somewhere behind my keyhole or it was just a substitute for a common bogeyman or is it still there is it somewhere around next to my legs behind my back on my shoulder in my hair take it off takeitoff!!


20070205

0017

STICK WITH YR KIND


the road is clear theres no one ahead but its only a morning its pretty obvious fragile outside solidified harsh inside a turtle and a humanoid well thats the right way then its me who took it all wrong no cracked shells and broken bones it takes the least effort to make it great a single tiny step aside the acids the old explanations there are some changes i wanna get there ive already met the evil prompter but i want to see whats behind the scenes a highway car crash its better to spend than to waste i know it all i know exactly what i have to do im still lucid enough but unabled help me out involve some more show your rotten teeth hypocrite im gonna get real fast and im gonna finish it all and get away from here i used not to hate but now i do i have those wicked pictures inside my brain the sick ones the destructive ones im gonna make an art out of it im gonna use it as a ladder to get there once when i get there im gonna wave and smile until you explode back to those little pieces of shit youre made of and then im gonna smile some more.


20070129

0016

I KILLED MY DINNER WITH KARATE


im gonna go back through that tiny hole the tinniest hole of all holes the one i had to narrow for the one ive stayed bent for your clock runs faster mines kinda stuck and way too loud those ticks and tocks wont let me sleep whats on a menu today tall twisted figures talking weird staying around keeping my attention until the next morsel until i swallow it all and ask for more if necessary id love to concentrate on it some more id like to understand quite how it feels and to get worried but i cannot this time im on the other side im here if you need me im just absent-minded and scared is it a way of self-defense or im simply being unconcerned and selfish no of course not i have to take care of myself only just like everyone else does its slipping away all the time it remains unsaid stays empty torn pages erased recorded mute paralyzed like in a dream the corner is what bothers me they say its the most firm like that but for me it seems pretty unstable i prefer staying on all four or straightening up on our own two skinny ones but who actually cares what i prefer if i turned my insides back inside maybe i would understand no plans they only show me how fooled i am a haphazard only me first me only.


20070125

0015

TARRY-FAIL


this is when i shouldnt make a single mistake neither should you ill wash all the dishes i will separate all the dust mites from the stardust while everything else is passing me by and even then you wont like it they teach me the right ways but theyre not easy at all the rain is always nice when you stare through a window but im soaked by now t2wo different sides of the same thing i cannot follow your rules if you dont even have any i thought it doesnt exist but i was wrong whats new how come the wrong ones always find the way i think i figured out i think i know now there is a perfect one but im not gonna write it down now for all of you who actually understand ive started it somehow but dunno how to use it the instruction is in some foreign language i got lost on the way someone ate all the crumbs but the wolf helped me out killed all the ugly dwarfs the witch the giant and the cheshire cat and found me the other slipper before i turn into a pumpkin.


20070123

0014

A RICOCHET


i saw it coming the right detail the exact one the charming one the blinding one i always prefer to look away a frozen frame frowned firm harsh childish spoiled a perfect image recorded saved imprinted behind yr back in the dark a zombie a shadow a ghost an empty shell or the insides warm and pulsing someone elses eyes see better what did i choose a machine an iron construction cold and robust squeaking and cutting i know iknow tiring and boring to you and to myself well why dont you quit you quitter go save yr ass it takes o1ne move and t2wo balls its a waste of money ashamed fooled a jester a muddy lace spineless nobody cares they say they do though whats the point anyway only a current interest intoxicated equals dull simple unreal hmm partially used wasted lost motivation a limbo where was i back then how did i get so tricked question marks pandoras box pandora herself reality bites nightmares the feet stamping a waste of will weary i know that face its the one that blocks me every time i try to move its a great idea smartass we should all try that one so whos the one that hates denials still didnt show up nice story are they all like that whats the next surprise or maybe i cannot get surprised anymore remain still until i disappear disintegrate vanish decompose break melt down and then get back to normal again and smile well thats when you miss the main part what i do is useless a complete insanity funny and sad at the same time think twice silence wont kill you think all night long one more denial i think im getting it all right now a sellotape for broken bones a painkiller have to take care of myself a devils dance a grouse it was a nice mask but its falling apart now a storyteller occasional fun a toy always behind whos the crazy one i should have listened i thought it was funny but it was both funny and true.


20070114

0013

31/7 [25]


a black spot blurry and dark out of focus moving and slipping a strong will all the black things the darkest ones the small things i always forget about i dont wanna miss them i wanna stay close to it keep them gathered safeandsound the only one who doesnt make sense at all too many people involved confusing me why repeating the whole circus what did i miss i know every detail by heart i knew the whole scenario but i still dont understand the whole idea personal utopia huh overly idealizing huh and about the secret one i knew it before its not a surprise it is amazing though remarkable weird nice im not guilty though i feel so the numbers and days whats yr problem it doesnt need colors to make it pretty you would have more chances to refresh yr miserable life if i turned it all upside down and around im not organized myself so for me its just perfect its the way i function its the one i can use and not get confused the black one yes the one with no colors at all no circles only squares its circling anyway youre scared of it coz yr life is all about repeating boring and not surprising if you knew it all you wouldnt need me to give the proper answer so whats the point old fag its weird how i started liking it letting myself go simple and minimal no compromise faster for the impatient ones and slower for the ones who enjoy either way surprising a lottery a game all the signs around a star for each one both glowing but im too dumb to realize im gonna give it a try anyway besides fiv5e is still better than thr3ee more promising for sure 25 is gonna be the presenting o1ne coz thats the one i wanna find and mark no matter how the other ones are placed numbers are underestimated i love them just the same messed up and dark.


20070102

0012

A DELICATE BALANCE [FETUS]


a mess amazed a maze too entangled thankyou for lifting me up i saw the way out if i could only walk through walls its pretty easy sleeping like a baby you expect the wrong thing the memory is pretty awkward this and that here and there everywhere there there intense but meaningless temporary friendships a kiss or t2wo junctions and goodbyez no worries ill pay it all whats next the supermarket trolley endless speeches a fetal position you have no idea why i came back were they all there were they really there fucking freaks you think its enough a weird skill the useful o1ne i dont envy you my black is brighter a bad joke a coin for a beggar a button a rock a spit a piece of shit almost like a dream someone elses dream the more the lower like a pyramid youre alone at the top what yr waiting for is not here sorry for not being stupid enough stars instead of empty faces so that i dont have to rush myself anymore nothing to fulfill i will pick it up and take a chance its up there anyway right on time is it yrs or mine connected and making sense its the better o1ne perhaps or a trick maybe i will never choose the right box i can only try i peeked it seems nice theres nothing here for you go collect yr crumbs glue it up and like exuperys king sit and rule yr fictive kingdom no i wont be the rat sorry im going back to my rose hey all of you are here somewhere around im gonna count you all and lull myself to sleep you see its not what you expect poor thing and you the sad image of you is rather funny another day in a den what bad thing can you say now howre you gonna wrap it up where are you gonna hide it questions behind my back burden staring waiting for a big story always the same the start and the end until i learn to play the game.


20061226

0011

[PEGASUS] COLISEUM DREAMS


nice dream thank you for waking me up for reminding me its an edge now not even a steep only bluff an empty space im not diving into it no i will just go back slowly quietly i have better things to do im sure i do dunno why i didnt believe it back then it was pretty obvious its making my lines nervous messy i still remember who appreciates that and its your fault for letting me remember if its true then i was dead that day before the rain a waste of time an illusion a good trick a delusion making me look away and miss the real one passing by well the magic is really alluring easing blinding but id love to look around now to see it all to check the pockets and sleeves to look inside the hat does the rabbit really exist and if so does it really turn into a snake or theres that snake also hidden somewhere waiting showing up from time to time ive never liked clowns magicians harlequins monkeys its rather sad to me i wont applaud for sure i will leave without interrupting the spectacle no one will have to stand up to let me pass ill find my way out youll notice im gone when you finish yr performance by then ill be at some different kind of show hopefully better one theyre not the only ones but they think they are its absurd having the highest and the lowest opinion about themselves at the same time your choice is mine you got away with that but you keep killing doesnt even seem you enjoy it i dont understand what its like inside that dream and whats the point as for me ill be lying a bit longer trying to replay mine to change the parts and roles to make it nicer and when i get bored i will get up and take a coffee eat you for breakfast fix the make up and go out to make me a new one.


20061225

0010

SIDE B [REVERSED]


o1ne t2wo thr3ee fou4r ten hundred 500 im rich engulfed thoughts okay so its nice its pretty calm only rain and cold taxi drivers gray street the flower sellers tired smiles and good news surreal and imprinting its the end anyway goodmorning hellohowareyou its like a dream the view was pretty odd all dark and narrowed moved focus absent-minded drunk silly peaceful circling again its been stuck for quite a while [reversed shirt] the preview is great i need the full version now thats what i paid for 3 short ones it seems much longer should be more relaxed muchmore that was the perfect o1ne my favorite one halfawake halfasleep halfdreaming i wish i couldve stayed it should not change anymore hurt healed soiled betrayed hurt teased deceived hurt healed or were those some special effects only 3different colors that never mix together unreliable unpredictable a sand statue i shouldnt breathe at all or breathe out should keep it all inside implode choke asphyxiate smother freeze or blow it all away the crows the sea gulls the hyenas no more cookies sorry id rather destroy it myself enjoy the show more popcorn peanuts chips watch carefully dont miss any detail and then forward whisper again please or shout it out loud either way its gonna get through melted but not fresh and green anymore taking root might help or not whats new whatsnew what did i miss show me showme im gonna love it anyway im gonna eat it all and grow some more havent seen that for a long while drunk and stupid where did it go why did it go.


20061224

0009

PLATITUDES. [LOADED. ACTIVATED WITHIN 24HRS]


can you smell it something stinks real bad rotten sleazy ugly sad its not gonna work like that it makes sense unfortunately i get the whole idea its not yrs to use it not that way not anymore im sorry im not i see you thought i wont see i will pretend i will remain quiet maybe withdraw the surprise is ruined now they had to say it out loud to parade with it its a trophy a good joke ahahhaha great now shoot me please make it fast i am slow but ill get there soon im gonna make a little change watch me grow horns i followed therules thepromise but it obviously wasnt precise enough you made sure i wont ask much nicejob the thing you asked for it was so wide toowide once i stand up its gonna be really weird [this week only] ill make sure you dont miss it its yr show anyway and i hate that fact so im gonna make my own now a talk show a sensation a real circus for all yr senses yep youre gonna loveit ey so the old ones are too old but it brings the good o1ne and only out again a good memory of something bad nice death honest lie sadjoke realdream kindlyrude the bus ride t2wo days o1ne week fou4r seasons th3ree years every night whole life flying up high and falling down low the miracles and demons and red and black and white and and paintings colors different kind of music dirt halls coffees huge windows and the stairs staying there forever useless braveness the best known secret fake ideals placability blindness believes excuses illusions effortwish willhopestrength and then a reminder a short review establishing the mistake ive learned my lesson but heres another one this one really stinks im sure you all feel its stench.


20061213

0008

HARMONYNOHARMONY


its freeezing cold but id rather choose an ice coz a stone doesnt melt i guess i dont get it all quite right yeah the same old repeating again youre so naive itll never fly yeahyeah okay you always think youre fed up but its amazing how much more you can take o1ne after another im trying hard but i skipped the most important part obviously theres no time now for getting back im in a hurry you know im not getting back no no way i may slow down or even stop and wait for a while for a long while forever but i cannot go back you keep it going im still at the start waiting to get the first 6 i guess ive lost my lucky dice its very simple and it works perfectly when it does recharge the batteries and its gonna play again even louder it has some hidden options that you might like only if aww its funny how im visible only when im away an empty space a gap a pause only a standby nothing more or less you think you know but you have no idea no worries once you get there youll get it all its not a path of least resistance for sure this is the harder way much harder o1ne the stabbing one its wintertime anyway its cold anyway you wont spot the difference no snowflakes no snow angels fog and wind only quite suitable i dont need a company for being alone im good at it on my own i used to practice a lot im still fit i guess im here though yes ill remain still not making a single move hey i said im still here send some snowflakes my way the star alike ones melt it down crack it knocknocknock ill open the door i promise but you have to knock first please do or ill remain frozen.


20061212

0007

+ -


up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down and up & down and up and down and up and down and up and down & up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down andupanddown and up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down &up and down and up and down and upanddown and up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down & up and down and up and down and up and down & up and down and up and down and upndown and up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down and up&down and up and down&up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down and up & down and up and down and up &down and down and up^ and down and up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down & up and down and up and down and up and down and up & down and up and down and up & down and up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down and upanddown &up & down and up and down and up and down and up &down and up and down and up &down and up&down and up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down & up and down and up and down and up and down and up &down and up & down and up and down throw up facedown shut up close down blowout.


20061128

0006

DISTANT EQUALS RATE TIMES TIME


swaying around in a dream missing much letting all pass by quick changes calmed down absent-minded at ease fulfilled dull smiling need a pinch a small one just to shake up a bit to wake up to get back but not a big one big ones are huge big ones keep me in bed for too long lost connections cut contacts i had a chance just a picnic a night out a preview demo great ill get t2wo of those and fi5ve of these keep the change whats the use if the delivery is late toolate i used to know what to do with it but hmm well anyway hey im ok im fine i can do much better though but that was a long time ago however id just like to know a couple of things more got some unanswered questions but i can already guess it all a couple of things more to do then i can but theres always something i dont care now im calm tomorrows gonna be just like friday even better yeahYEAh two scars and thats it yep and inlove also the project some money maybe oh yeah the job oh no well ok so some money maybe zagreb and a doctor and if everything gets fine the wall also yeah right no way doesnt matter and those stupid daily superstitions holding me back or not sleep well have a nice dream ill stay up keeping vigil im not sure i want to hear it is it good or bad does it hurt its fine like this maybe i shouldnt listen to anyone at all besides its too late for the good one and the bad ones still can do harm im pretty unstable so i should better NOTcall back i wish it was true though yet i wouldnt know what to do with it holdmee animate me dont let me look away keep my full attention and its gonna be okay i promise.


20061120

0005

[THERE ARE T2WO COLOURS IN MY HEAD]


loves me loves me not loves me lovesmenot all at once while still emitting the alcohol hates me wants to change me well sorry im too old for this detailed and growing through the ceiling the magic beans a beanstalk fee fie foo fum how does the giant look like a cat on the wall staring and now you well what the hell do you want im tolerant enough i might explode i promise to explode soon if it doesnt change isolation could get me back fuckyou ive got my th3ree different blacks im gonna build my own one and youre not welcome anymore you didnt even manage to see the old one you cripple besides what is this a goat a cat a bear a squirrel so ugly i dont even wanna know pity there isnt enough space for more of those pretty ones so typical anyway and now its cold a massacre well at least its changed and thingsll settle for a while for long enough to make me repair it so that you can blow it away again like a spoiled child t2wo at the same time a reserve a fake plastic o1ne a bait a you wont even notice you never spot the difference anyway i wish i could show you the real o1ne youd love it f5ive for o1ne its not gonna work that way an eye for an eye or no eyes at all i dont need to prove myself its either good or dead you choose i dont care anymore i have more important things to think of im afraid but i cant imagine any other way so i guess its gonna be ok otherwise id wish it was a real time machine to take me back and keep me there or would i but its not so i guess im stuck here while youre still away thinking that im too hard to handle the other o1ne is very close but still so distant distrustful hurt angry sad fuckedup why dont you come back and tell me smt big or no please no big things okay something small and calming of course you wont you will when you find another reason for shouting out at me thats okay thats gonna help me explode faster sooner surer.


20061103

0004

EXTRATIME [ONTHEGROUND]


a year ago i had a neighbour always the ocher one with the indian fish and branches very embarrassed for no reason at all the dark one almost like the other one or just the same but different the other one the darker one much brighter clearer closer as a shot an injection should help to forget but didnt only got more of it all mixed up and blurred the one the another both or none the doctor the shopkeeper a year ago before the jump right after the fall or a couple of years long flight now more colorful doubled fulfilled almost completed all messed up pay attention not for too long oh look theres another one coming along leave it aside leave it behind youre gonna need both hands for this one for every one too hard to take it all at once didnt practice didnt learn on time missed it all looked away sitting beside with hands tied been away for too long what did i miss oh you saved me a place a seat thankyou the card castle the breeze the door slam the violator should split should double or multiply or just disappear disintegrate fall apart fly away no should turn away walk away or stay its all too good too bad its completely different one now the only one with no chances took it all or nothing two or three how many fingers do you see thirty a daylight a spotlight an old and bad make up sunglasses can hide it but theres a reflection a mirror a ricochet.


20060910

0003

[SUNDAYCOMEDOWN]


sick and tired its such a it could be a beautiful day it is for someone else delayed trip canceled feeling guilty being late again didnt say the right thing had a nice sleep foresaw the whole show a theatre the scenario so loud and attacking im sorry too weak to stand it already stooped couldnt contort any more doesnt matter quite used to it wheres the limit is there any is it close you know going crazy sounds like an escape a solution a great plan yes the great escape pretty colorful and peaceful is it perhaps not i wish i could really lose it an orange crush the stars the buzz and wonderland demons rainbows voices butterflies maybe then ill be left in peace in piece in o1ne piece safe and sound a path of least resistance maybe this is the place oh then i want to go back please get me outofhere i promise to be good always the same the old memories the new ones it gets bigger it grows im not that bad cant be thatbad must be something bigger so easily rough its really very sharp it may cut me to pieces even the tinier ones invisible ones the more you tolerate the more the kinder you are the oh too bad a huge remorse all the time constantly will kill me one day will eat me alive a whirlpool and strangers damaged ideals suspension stupid games the masks a theatre a circus cmon tell me tellmee will lose the patience will turn my back offtopic i should quit should turn myself into a shell a snail a turtle should hide my insides should burn the bridges close the doors close the windows build a wall a tall massive wall contract some more eat myself alive or stand up shake the dust off make something big something important get away far away watch my back help me out give me a hand or at least just no doesnt matter just smile more often or at least let me smile.


20060828

0002

NO BOMBS. ONLY FIREWORKS.


going in circles one after another carefully watching the show true and false unbelievable but undeniable beautiful and disgusting watch it grow watch it change watch it i need to talk to you i need to show you the i wanna tell you but hey whos gonna win whos gonna get there first try harder dont need much really just a oh so now youre brave enough doesnt matter i dont really care one or another or something completely different or nothing at all of you none so now youre the talk of the town right of course it wont last wont be like this for too long i hope for ever forever that was a good start a high stair a jumpingoff place an escalator thankyou now what so tiny from up here put me back put me down helpmegetusedtoit give me a hand stand right nextomee no concentrate wish fulfillment a leitmotif a motive locomotive ill get myself a map t2wo fwd th3ree backward turn left turn right all right alright fine. im fine.


20060809

0001

THINGSREPLACETHINGS [THERECKONING]


very refreshing the buzz the booze the breeze heh funny why would i need the one lost in space all alone maybe i do what if is it the first how would they act if they only knew how could they the row im standing in the line the straight line the stripes the the illusion and all the surprises the good and the bad ones an unexpected facts and words hows that all going to end hiii i like you okay i dont im just kidding but hiii anyway the holiday pavement diving the suspense neverending pale and habitual does it really matter it does not lostandfound how do i look big expectations well sorry i cant find the time cant find umm lost umm really sorry tried hard was polite and careful 2hrs huh well i probably had a nice dream or didnt want to wake up do you think they saw me i trust you as we are the same perhaps perhaps not wheres the connection get drunk remain invisible shoved aside or not late or blind deaf or dumb numb scared incapable youll see you will.


20060725

0000

IMKINDASLEEPEECALLANAMBULANCE.


0153 i still might see an alien or at least some good film find me a get me a need someone something an engine do the fucking painting already the heat is unbearable pathetic violins i wanna can you do you i umm someone something that can can you see the stars on the glass on the wall in the head in the sky the starflower the wooden bird the wings the leaves the leaves go out meet some friends no remain still gotosleep wake up start the day get on the train or at least buy the bloody ticket make up your mind cant do that anymore not fair hi smile how was your day get drunk fuck up wake up the friends the why not the phonecalls put it back spilt milk im sorry no youre not i am umm lost count the heat cold water warm coffee no no coffee its late its too late hes back you didnt make a single move only 6 tiny steps is it forward the same place the same with the new stars the frog the bag no harmony no sea the books no money dye the hair cut it off do the bloody painting already check the texts cover the lines with other peoples thoughts get me a glass of water the dogs and the bear a good bear a teddy bear modest and dull forgot your friends forgot to feed the animals again see a doctor see if its serious see if what if oh no how sad later i have now other things to do to see the goal the motive a star hello i miss you a joke is it a tear tore torn the same dream repeating poor animals good morning did you remember to feed it not this time sure she was loud annoying yes the fatso thank you its getting late i should be going i should be asleep i thought it was gone but its getting back write it down bury it smother it put it under the carpet under the pillow gotosleep.